The sisterhood of the impossible pants

We all have them – that one pair of jeans that hangs in the back of our closet – that one pair of jeans that is not just an article of clothing, but a promise that one day, we will be able to zip them closed again.

Most of those jeans sit there, gathering dust, and each time we clean out our closets, we come face to face with those pants – both our best friend and our worst enemy – and decide whether we should keep them or face reality and accept that we never will fit back into them.

But in the end we leave them there. Getting rid of those jeans would mean admitting failure, and we, as women, would frankly rather hike to the top of Mount Everest than admit defeat. Instead we say, “I will fit into those pants again!” and close the closet until next year when we will undoubtedly go through the same ritual.

And of course there are the rare few – clearly not human – women who actually do manage to get back into those jeans. We glare at them with jealousy and for a few days commit ourselves to a strict diet, only to be sabotaged by the chocolate cake at a cousin’s graduation party.

So why do we continue to torture ourselves? Why do we leave those jeans hanging in the back of the closet to remind us of what we will probably never be again? The truth is that those jeans represent more than just a desire to be thinner – they represent a desire to be happy, which many women associate with achieving a slimmer physique.

We think that being thinner will bring us love, success and recognition. We spend so much of our lives dwelling on what we wish we could experience again, that oftentimes we miss out on the things happening in the here and now. Some women will argue that they are more likely to attract a man if they drop a few pounds, but my question is, would you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who would only accept you if you fit into that one special pair of jeans?

There is so much pressure on girls these days to stay thin and to look like the girls they see in magazines, but most women don’t realize that the greatest pressure is the pressure we put on ourselves. Even the women society accepts as being the most anatomically pleasing stare in the mirror each day and pick apart areas of their bodies that they’d like to change. Even though most of the world would see nothing wrong, we look at ourselves and scrutinize every extra roll, bump and imperfection and think, “I’d give anything to change that.”

The thing is that we, as women, need to start accepting ourselves for the way we are before the rest of the world can learn to accept us. Accepting ourselves doesn’t necessarily mean admitting defeat, but realizing that we don’t have to change who we are to be happy.

So go into your closet and donate that pair of jeans to Good Will. Chances are you won’t ever wear them again, anyway. And guess what? That’s OK. It’s OK to be a different size than you were when you were 14, and it’s OK that you don’t look like the women in Vogue. The truth is those women probably wish they had a few extra curves anyway.

So start embracing the body you have and the woman you are. Buy a new pair of jeans to make new memories in. Accept that the memories you made in those old jeans were part of a past that you can look back on fondly, but that won’t necessarily bring you happiness in the future. Get rid of that old pair of jeans, because let’s face it – they’re probably out of style now anyway.