Today I want to talk about the power of saying no in simple situations. The ability to say no is not always easy. Why do we always hold back from being honest with ourselves? If your friends ask you to go to dinner with them, and you truly are just not in the mood, why is it that 99% of the time you still say yes? Learning to be honest with yourself and the people around you about simply not wanting to do something is, for some reason, one of the hardest lessons to learn.
People are going to be okay with you saying no. Your friends are not going to all of a sudden hate you because you told them you were too tired to go to dinner. And if they are the type of friends to drop you over something so small, then they probably are not the best choice of friends.
College comes with a full schedule, no matter what major you are or how many friends you have. Most of the time, everybody in college has their fair share of things to do on their agenda. So, navigating your schedule in a way that does not damage your mental health is important.
Now, I am in no way saying not to go out with your friends. I think it is very important to balance your social life with your school and work life. However, running yourself crazy until your mind and body is drained of all energy is not healthy at all. Sometimes we do this to ourselves without even noticing.
I believe we all have different levels of social battery. This can vary depending on so many different things. If a person has social anxiety, odds are their social battery is never really at the same level as somebody who considers themselves an extrovert and life of the party. It can also just depend on the kind of day or week you are having. I would say my social battery can get up to about 75% on a good day, and like 15% if I did badly on a test or worked a long shift at work.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that you should make time for yourself. Make sure that if you are not in the mood to do something, you do not just say yes to make others happy. If your mind is telling you to just stay in your room all night and do some self-care— then you better listen.
Sometimes your mind tells you to stay-in, but you know that is all you have done this month so you better just go out with your friends. This is when I recommend being honest with your friends. Let them know what is going on with you. Tell them you know you should go out, but that your social battery is low and you might head out early.
It is okay to just say no. Tell your friends, family and significant others that you just are not in the mood. We all should stop pretending that we are always happy, always full of energy, always down for anything or always perfect. You might even be surprised how your friends react to you letting them know you just do not want to go. They might even decide that they would rather stay in with you and just have a chill night.
People are much more alike than you think. We all run out of battery sometimes, and the only way to recharge is to let yourself.
