“I prefer to be friends with boys, they’re less drama.” Was something my 16-year-old coworker said. I couldn’t blame her when I heard it. Girls can be mean, especially when you’re younger. However, I also believe friendships with other girls can be one of the most liberating and rewarding bonds you could ever have. 

So here are some life lessons I’ve learned from my female friendships:

1 – Love is conditional- and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

Girls are tough. I don’t mean in a Rosie-the-Riveter-girl-boss kind of way, I mean they are tough emotionally. As human beings, we sometimes act out of selfishness and in turn hurt the ones we love. My friendships held me accountable and taught me how to communicate and effectively apologize. They taught me to respect boundaries and how important it is to implement my own. My adolescent relationships taught me how to navigate conflict and, most significantly, how to know when to leave them. 

2 – Yeah, you’re weird but she’s weird too. 

Yes, even that girl. Insecurity and comparison are like stubbing your pinky toe and doing that one legged hobble dance thing while cursing. Or, in other words, it is something we all experience but don’t admit to. I’ve spent too much time worrying about whether I was being “normal” or “feminine” enough. I’ve focused too much on trying to hide the things I thought other girls didn’t do. After countless sleepovers filled with late night confessions, I learned that other girls experience the same things and feel the same way. There is no right or wrong way to be a girl. Remember that the next time you put another girl on an unrealistic pedestal, and know she probably has you there too. 

3 – Romance is nice, but it isn’t enough.

We’ve all been ditched by a friend who has been swept off her feet by someone else. (Or, maybe you have even done the ditching.) I’m not discouraging the pursuit of romantic partnerships, but I am warning you not to make that your only relationship. I have experienced the most fulfilling romantic life from being with my significant other and I was still at my lowest mentally. I realized what I was missing was a friend, someone who could understand the plight and highs of womanhood in the way a boyfriend couldn’t. There is enough room for both romantic and platonic love. 

4 – The world is scary and unfair– we need each other.

I don’t think I need to get into why women often feel unsafe in a lot of parts of the world. However, I will say it is now more important than ever to advocate and rally for other women. Expand your friend group, reach out and make connections in the workplace and be a source of comfort and security. I promise it will make your time on this planet a bit easier. 

While I have had my fair share of negative experiences with other women, I wouldn’t take back any of the past friendships I’ve had. The good and the bad taught me a lot about myself and helped me develop into the woman that I am now. So while Marilyn sang about diamonds being a girl’s best friend, I believe women have a lot more to offer.