Keep Your Chill #2: Healthy Boundaries and Prioritizing Yourself

Faith Jones, Blogger

After talking about keeping the inner peace, I wanna dive into healthy boundaries and figuring out ways to prioritize yourself.


I feel like sometimes this can be an uncomfortable and touchy topic,, simply because it impacts those around you or makes you question if you are being too selfish. Sometimes you gotta face the weird stuff and be selfish in order to keep your chill. 


As you get older and learn how to manage school, work, family, friendships or whatever it may be that consumes your time and energy. You really start to learn how important these things are and evaluate why you make them such a focus point in your life. 


Most importantly, as you grow older and even wiser, you also uncover who you are, all of the things that are essential to you and get a jist for how you want things in your life to function. 


Some things I uncovered over the past few months and even years is the type of social interactions that I want as routine in both my daily life and over a series of months or within the year. It definitely depends on the social capacity that you can handle and that you express to those around you, and it’s okay for yours to look significantly different than others. 


I would try to explain what a breakdown of mine looks like, but if I’m being honest, it’s always influenced by occurring factors that I never predict or expect until they smack me in the face


And that’s another thing: your boundaries aren’t always going to be black and white. They aren’t always going to follow an algorithm or sense of consistency, and that’s just okay. As long as it makes sense to you and helps you keep your composure then you are chilling babe. 


Friends and family: two major aspects in many people’s lives and specifically mine. We talk about it, but we don’t talk about growing up and evolving with them enough. Healthy boundaries and prioritizing yourself is HUGE in this. Not only do you have to maintain your own balance but you also have to continuously strategize new ways to find a happy medium with various relationships as they continue to change. 


Your perception of people isn’t always going to remain the same, in both good and bad ways, but it will help to determine what’s enough and acceptable and prioritizing where you put your time and energy. 


Setting boundaries, prioritizing yourself and developing a concrete sense of yourself can only be done by you. And if that is something you are unsure of or draws questioning then I recommend reflecting. 


Reflecting on all of the ways you process things from how you choose to react to them, how they make you feel and the outcomes and impacts they have on you helps to get the wheels turning. This sounds broad and random and maybe only makes sense to me but understand that you have to start somewhere. 


Being so completely invested in yourself and the complexity of how your mind works and how you operate will continue to set the stage for how you choose to manage all things that life will throw at you.


You shouldn’t have to question if your boundaries are set or not. If you feel defeated, drained or irritable then maybe it’s time to reflect on it and come up with new approaches. As you continue to grow and change, it’s only natural for your boundaries to also. Micromanaging, analyzing and walking on thin ice will eventually push you to your breaking point.


I’m not saying that dealing with this stuff is easy, because it’s sure as hell not. But finding a way to do it will make everything much more enjoyable and positive and leave your mind at more ease. 


And as you get older, you start to realize all of the things that don’t deserve so much of your energy when you start to identify your limits and priorities. 


But one thing about growing up is that you get to take responsibility and have full control of all aspects of your life, and I think that’s pretty empowering. 


Maturing is coming to terms with the fact that you will have to have those uncomfortable conversations with people. You are going to continue to change as a person, and people are going to change for both the better and worse. You just have to be able to see their value and the ways they influence you for the better and see how it fits into your flow of life. That’s how you prioritize yourself and your boundaries. 


And I’m not just talking about friendships, I’m talking about all things that require boundaries and prioritization: school, work, freetime, family.


These things are always going to be changing for the most part, in good and not so good ways.


Note that it’s important to remain optimistic. Just because it may impact you in an unsettling way at first or appears unfamiliar, doesn’t mean it’s always negative. It could just be teaching you a lesson and taking yourself out of your comfort zone. Always remain hopeful because in the end, the experience will leave an impact and help to shape your future. 


So, do that much needed self reflection, have those uncomfortable conversations and start putting those vital boundaries into play and prioritize yourself. 


Keep your chill crazy people, it’s going to be okay :))))